10 Simple Things You Can Do to Build Your Best Family
Yes, we are missing out on so much right now. Restaurants, parks, theatres, museums, as well as many other activities, are shut down. At first, it felt like a handful of snow days, something new, totally manageable, and even kind of fun. But now it’s dragging on.
Navigating all the family time can be tricky. However, if we choose to, we can use this as an opportunity to build our best family.
I have discovered a handful of things that will have a significant impact on your family now during quarantine and in the future. These aren't parenting tips. They are better than that. They are 10 of the practices that businesses, organizations, and even families do to build a strong culture!
You don't have to do all of these. Implementing and following through on just a few of these will strengthen your family and bring you closer together.
Here are 10 Simple Things You Can Do to Build Your Best Family:
1. Create routines and rhythms. The schedules we followed before the pandemic aren't relevant anymore. We can no longer count on them to make our days feel different and unique.
It's time to go back to the drawing board and create new routines and rhythms for your family that includes your responsibilities, non-negotiables, and the things that matter to you. When you do this, you are taking ownership of your time, telling it what you want it to do for you. Deciding what you will do ahead of time prevents decision fatigue and eliminates making decisions out of emotion, exhaustion, or stress.
When you establish a routine, you get a clear picture of what's possible (grow spiritually, get your chores done, spend time with family, and connect with friends). But, you will also discover any unrealistic expectations you have yourself and what you can get done.
2. Have fun together. When you're overwhelmed, the last thing you want to do is have fun. However, it may precisely be what you need to release your stress. Doing the things you enjoy not only benefits you personally but when you do them with your kids, it builds a healthy family. As you spend time together laughing and playing, you strengthen your relationships with one another.
3. Get everyone to pitch in. While everyone is home, there are more meals to cook, more dishes to clean, and more mess to clean up. So now is a fantastic time to have your children lend a hand. When we work together, we lighten the load that each of us carries. Plus, it says, "We are all in this together!"
Yes, I know it's faster and easier to do many of these yourself, but when kids pitch in, they learn about responsibility and build great habits for the future. They'll also discover that what they do matters, and the part they play in your family is essential.
4. Get feedback. Now more than ever, it is essential to communicate well. Creating time and a safe space for family members to express their opinions and give insight builds confidence and boots morale. Not only that, but it also provides clear steps you can take immediately to grow individually and as a family. Ask questions like, "What's going well?" "What can we improve?" When you do this regularly you foster continuous improvement in your people.
5. Encourage each other. Your love language doesn't have to be Words of Affirmation to benefit from verbal encouragement. When you cheer your people in, they feel valued and seen. You also inspire people to show up. Encouragement is contagious. As you share it with others, they will share it with you too.
6. Host a family meeting. Regular check-ins improve communication and connection. It is essential in building culture because it allows you to see if you are spending your time and resources in a way that lines up with your family's values. You can review schedules, set goals, and solve problems. These meetings don't have to be all about "business," though, you can talk with your kids about how you'd like to spend time together and brainstorm new ways to have fun. Intentional conversations like these equip you to approach each week with a purpose.
7. Ask questions. These days we need more than the typical questions to get the conversation started. "How was school/work?" "What did you do today?" and "Did you have fun with your friends?" don't work anymore. Ask questions that encourage everyone to use their imaginations as well as "Get to Know You" questions that go more in-depth. The answers will become the narrative of your family culture. Plus, research shows that the more kids know their family members, the more self-esteem and confidence they have.
8. Decide what you want your family to be known for. A culture shaped by default tends to be mediocre because people, especially children, tend to take the path of least resistance. As parents, we get to decide what's important to us and how we want to live together as a family.
Now is a great time to clarify your values and passions. Decide with your spouse what from your past you want to keep and what you want to leave behind. You can even get your kids involved in the conversation.
9. Take care of yourself. Self-care is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your family. When we do activities that refresh and recharge us, we are better spouses, parents, and leaders. How we take care of ourselves during this time may look different than before "stay home," but it's vital to our well being.
10. Show gratitude. Showing appreciation for one another has the power to change a conversation, the atmosphere of your home, and your family. Gratitude is an antidote to anxiety because it shifts focus from what you don't have to what you do have. And as a result, it lifts your spirits. Practice it regularly.
You are likely not going "find the time" to put these practices into place. Instead, make an appointment with yourself or family members to follow through on them. Remember, you don't have to do all of them at once. Choose the ones that you are the most excited about or would make the most significant impact on your family and start there.
Take advantage of this time to invest in your family in meaningful ways with my Family Culture Bundle.
Get the tips, tricks, cheat sheets, and videos on how to implement the 10 Simple Things You Can Do to Build Your Best Family
Bundle includes:
Routines and Rhythms Guide
Chore Lists
Ideas for Having Fun
Family Feedback Questions
Conversation Starters
Family Meeting Guide
...and much more!