One Way To Get Your Chore System to Stick
I am a big fan of kids doing chores.
There are so many reasons for kids pitch in around the house. It enables them to develop life skills, it teaches them about responsibility and self-reliance, and it cultivates a strong work ethic.
But most of all I like about my kids doing chores around the house is that it lightens my workload.
Over the years, I've tried a gazillion different ways to implement a chore system that would stick. At first, I had the kids pick chores from a jar. This method worked for a while, but eventually, the kids started to complain that it wasn't fair because some of them would end up picking the same thing "all the time."
After that, I tried a chart system with different types of rewards, such as a small toy from a treasure chest, screen time, and even money. Again they worked for a little while, but they lost interest and I wasn't super consistent with maintaining this system because it was too much work.
Two things changed all this.
I decided that my kids doing chores was a non-negotiable. I went back to my why of chores. It was something that I thought was important, and I determined that I couldn't let the push back, the bickering, and the work it took to establish this practice deter me from making it happen.
I gave my kids the responsibility of creating the system we were going to use. Giving them ownership of the process was a game-changer. I sat down with my kids, and I gave them a list of chores that I wanted them to do. We talked about each task and why it was essential to do it. We talked about how and when it should get done, and I asked for feedback.
The final list that we came up included nine daily chores that were to be done throughout the day and after dinner, plus three more to do on Saturday mornings.
My kids were concerned about the grouping of chores, so they divided up which ones went together and then created a rotation.
The chores on this list weren't different from the ones I was already asking them to do. However, my kids' attitude shifted because I gave them a say in what we were doing, what it would look like, and what worked for them.
The magic was in giving them a say in the decision making process and power to implement the system they created.
Here's how you can find a chore system that sticks:
Make a list of the things that need to get done.
Brainstorm what it looks like to do that thing. Who does it? When should it take place? And what happens if someone doesn't do their part?
Group the chores together. Arrange them so that the workload is equal. For example, no one child should have all the undesirable duties in the same week.
Create a rotation. Based on the number of chores and children rotate who does what for a weekly rotation.
Write it down. Once you have written it down, post it somewhere you can all see it.
You can take these steps for any project where multiple family members and responsibilities are involved. It will give kids ownership of what you are doing together, which will ultimately help them become and stay engaged.
Giving my kids ownership in this process eliminated a lot of the bickering and complaining, but it didn't make them all of a sudden love chores.
Patience and consistency are vital to seeing long term success in this area.
Resist the urge to take things over because you can do it better and faster. The good habits your kids are creating by doing chores are more important than satisfying our short-term desires.
I explain it on IGTV HERE
Download this Resource
You can do the steps I mentioned earlier on your own; however, If you need a little help getting started with this hack, you can download a resource have created that will help.
It includes a list of suggested chores for kids of all ages, plus an activity your kids can do to figure out what gets done and by whom. When you sign up for it, you'll get this plus access to all the previous family culture hacks videos and resources.