How to Stress Less this Holiday Season
Thanksgiving and Christmas are quickly approaching. Most people I know either look forward to the season or dread it. Guess what? In the past, I have dreaded it.
That’s because I typically have high expectations for the season. I want to decorate my home in a way that’s Pinterest worthy, cook my favorite holiday meals, get all my shopping done early, plus make DIY Christmas gifts. I envision my family snuggling by the fire with hot chocolate, entertaining friends each weekend, and heading to NYC when possible.
I underestimated the amount of time I actually had to do all the things.
Instead of the holidays being a joyful time, they become stressed. Then, when my family doesn’t feel like decorating or complains about Advent devotions, I get discouraged. Apathy sets it; I lose momentum and then wallow in the disappointment that we didn’t do the things I imagined.
This awful cycle shaped our family’s culture.
I have discovered significance can be simple! I don’t have to overspend or overcommit to make lasting memories with my family. Instead, I can leave behind unrealistic expectations, set boundaries, and be intentional with my time.
Thanks to a suggestion from my good friend Noelle, I decided to choose One Word that would narrow our family’s focus for the next six weeks. Instead of “going with the flow” this season we’ll embrace the activities that produce the holiday experience that’s right for us. (This is very similar to the practice of choosing One Word for the New Year.)
Having One Word helped us
Get rid of unrealistic expectations
Be intentional with my time.
Not overspend or overcommit, but instead make lasting memories with my family.
Set boundaries
Once you decide what your One Word will be, you can use it as a lens to determine what it is that you'll do, where you'll go, what you eat, and even what music you're going to play, it will help us answer questions such as:
Will we…
Host an intimate gathering or a party?
Buy or make gifts?
Stay close to home or take the train to New York City on the weekends?
Visit family or invite them to our house?
Cook favorite holiday recipes or experiment with new flavors?
Listen to upbeat Christmas music or play traditional hymns?
Many of us will not be able to participate in the traditions we have in the past because of the restrictions put in place by the Covid pandemic. That means we may have to come up with alternative ways to celebrate and enjoy the next six weeks.
In the past, my husband and I have chosen in years past are JOLLY, JOY, PEACE. These are holiday-specific but your word doesn’t have to be. We are still working on this year’s word.
Here’s how to choose One Word for the holiday season:
List your current commitments and responsibilities. Don’t forget about the things you are already doing such as sports, music lessons, and church commitments that continue through November and December. Then add visiting family, travel, parties, volunteering, and birthdays.
Reflect on the past year. What was the last holiday like? Look back and recognize what worked well and what didn't? Acknowledge how 2020 has impacted you as a family.
Anticipate what’s coming in 2021. What is happening next year? Do you foresee a major life transition or a big move? Are you starting a new business or will it be a slow first quarter? Since many of us are still restricted, it's good to consider what next year might hold if things go back to being somewhat normal but also to consider what if it doesn’t.
Consider what emotion, a feeling, or action will bridge the 2. There are a lot of words out there to choose from. (Don’t worry though. I’ve got you covered. In the One Word Worksheet, I’ve provided a word bank.) If you are having trouble, It’s ok to pick a handful of words, try a few on for size until you find a fit.
Once you have chosen your One Word, ask ourselves, How can we approach our schedule, our activities, the atmosphere in our home in light of this word?
Need some help deciding your One Word?
Download this free worksheet that will walk you through the process. In it, you’ll find a word bank, questions that will help you choose your One Word, and a calendar for planning your time well.
I am no longer dreading the next six weeks, but instead, I’m excited about coming up with creative ways to live out our One Word. It will still be a busy time of year, but if I use my One Word as a filter, I can have confidence in what I say “Yes” to and what I say “No” to. I won’t have to worry that I am not doing enough or missing out.
Our One Word for the holiday season will equip us to navigate the rest of November and December with success. It will also help us to maintain the family culture we’ve established in our home.
I’d love to know what kind of experience do you want to create for your family this Holiday Season? Let's talk more about this on Instagram or in the Build Your Best Family Community group.
Prefer the ease of listening to reading? No problem! Just click to play to hear this episode of the Build Your Best Family podcast.