Two Things That Will Help You Empower Your Family Members
Culture is meant to bridge the gap between the "rules" and the unexpected scenarios you'll face. But it will only do that when you empower the people in your organization or your family. That means giving your people permission to take action and make decisions without your constant input, and with little oversight.
In some companies, when you start a job, there is an employee handbook. It included policies and procedures. It is an incredible resource, but even the most thorough manuals can't prepare you for every situation.
We see this in family life, as well. As your kids get older, we will not be there to tell them what to do in every situation. The more they are outside our home, the less control we have over the choices they make. PLUS, as technology changes both as kids and parents, we will experience things we didn't know were possible.
Culture is meant to bridge the gap between the "rules" and the unexpected scenarios you'll face.
But it will only do that when you empower the people in your organization or your family. That means giving your people permission to take action and make decisions without your constant input, and with little oversight.
Some of you may already be freaking out about this idea, and I get it. In families, you're not working with qualified employees that you handpicked and hired, you are dealing with children. And it's scary to let go of control.
However, the best leaders don't delegate tasks, they delegate authority. You can do that in your family when you create clarity and trust in your culture.
At every stage of parenting, we let go of control. The ages of your children will determine just how much authority you give away.
When we empower other people (employees, children, and even your spouse) we:
Free up mental capacity
An example of this is how we've given our children the authority to make financial decisions. For different ages, there are different levels of responsibility.
When our kids were little, I taught them how to manage money. Each week I gave them a dollar in dimes and showed them how to give 10%, save 10%, and spend 80%. As they got older, they had more money to give, save, and spend, and we continued to teach them how to be wise with their money by giving them various budgets to manage.
Along the way, I resisted the urge to micro-manage the process.
Now our kids are in high school; they are responsible for additional categories. We figured out how much we spend on them in a calendar year, and they manage it. They go to the bank, withdraw what they need for the month, and divide it up in their cash envelopes. It's now their job to make the hard choices of what they can and can't do with it.
It is so lovely not to be continuously asked for money to do and buy things. Our kids have been empowered to make their own choices. They have freedom within the boundaries of our values.
Promotes growth
Those who are controlled won't grow as leaders. You can either have control or growth, but you can't have both.
Controlling creates passive followers, BUT empowerment creates faith-filled leaders.
Often when you empower people, the right people, they will eventually do it better than you do. Honestly, I hope our kids avoid the financial mistakes we make and do a better job of managing money then we've done.
The strength of your family is not tied to how much you control but to who you empower.
Two things that are crucial when empowering your people is:
1. Communicate with Clarity. This ensures that your work is aligned with your values, your goals, and your mission. It's important to communicate what you need and expect from others in a way that they understand.
Clarity without trust creates fear without action.
If you give your people a task or responsibility but micromanage how they get it done, they won't take risks required to build confidence in this area.
2. Extend trust. When trusted family members are eager to embrace the values and beliefs, you are teaching them.
Trust without clarity results in work without direction. Your kids and other family members will become robots doing what they are told but never taking ownership or embracing the values behind the ask.
Trust takes a willingness to let go of control, which is hard. If you struggle with this, ask yourself, "What is the most important win needed in this season?" "And am I willing to experience a temporary loss of excellence or effectiveness to see growth?"
As parents, our goal here is to guard the values, but slowly, surrender the control.
This often looks like taking two steps forward and one step back.
When our kids were first starting doing chores, it was hard not to take over and do things ourselves because we knew we could do it easier and fast. But the point of giving them chores to do was NOT so that we could have a perfectly clean house. But to cultivate teamwork, to teach them how to take responsibility for their environment.
Will your kids (or other family members) under-deliver? Will they make mistakes? YES. That's okay!
Family culture isn't about behavior modification or perfection, it's about passing down a set of values and beliefs that your children will embrace, take ownership of, and run with.
If you would like to start empowering the members of your family today, ask yourself:
What is the most essential win needed in your family?
Am I holding back, or are my standards too high? They choose 1 or 2 things that you can teach others and delegate it to them.
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