Kimberly Amici 11/27/19 Kimberly Amici 11/27/19

How Connecting with Your People Will Help You Succeed

In this hectic world we live in, we often only have the time and energy to correct our kids, discuss to-dos, and make sure everyone is where they're supposed to be when they're supposed to be there. We are juggling home life, work, marriage, schedules. It's no wonder we barely have time for connection.

You might think going about our business without slowing down to connect would help us get more done and make us more efficient, but in fact, it does not.

One day one of my kids can home for school in a bad mood. They were unkind to their siblings and short-tempered while doing their homework. I asked them to clean up their snack, and they acted like they didn't hear me

At that moment, I had a choice to make. I could freak out and punish them, or I could take a moment to connect with them and get to the bottom of what was going on. Thankfully I was having a good day, and I chose the latter. I took a deep breath and said, "Hey, what's going on? Did something happen at school today?"

They opened up and told me that something indeed happened on the playground that day.

Because I was able to slow down and connect with my kiddo, I saw a shift in my child's demeanor. They had more patience for themselves, were able to finish their homework without losing their cool. Not only that, they cleaned up as I asked.

We build connections and take steps towards our desired outcome when we take the time to see and hear others, become concerned for one another, and come alongside each other in our everyday.

Here are a few ways you can connect with your people:

Ask questions. Don't assume you always know what's going on or what another person is feeling. Slow down and listen. Ask open-ended questions.
Show empathy. Recognize how the other person feels and understand their point of view is important to them.
Share your feelings and thoughts when appropriate. Remember that children will listen to you once they feel heard.

We all yearn for connection — with our kids, spouses, parents, siblings, and friends. We weren't created to be robots going about our day in the most efficient way possible. We were meant to do this life WITH our people.

My conversation with Brian Dixon on The Family Culture Project podcast that I would, in fact, have a more significant impact as a wife, mother, friend when I connect with my people.

Brian had a habit, both in his business and his family, of putting projects before people. Then he had a unique experience that showed him that this thing that he thought made him successful might be the very thing that was holding him back from the success at work and home. He writes about it in his new book Start with Your People.

As he began to master the art of connection, he saw exponential growth personally and professionally.

As you read this post or listen to this interview, think about the people in your life that you would like to connect with and decide on one way you can begin to do that today!

Listen to my interview with Brian Dixon on The Family Culture Project podcast here >> Ep. 64 Brian Dixon and Why Connecting with Your People Matters

Be sure to subscribe to the show in iTunes or your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode.

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Kimberly Amici 11/5/19 Kimberly Amici 11/5/19

The Best Time to Teach Your Kids About Money

Reports show that most parents don't talk to their kids about money. The main reason is that they don't feel confident about sharing personal finance lessons with them. As a result, the vast majority of kids enter the real world without ever learning about money in school or at home. If we don't teach your kids how to manage money, somebody else will.

I was one of those kids. I had a part-time job in high school, so I earned money to go out with my friends and buy a few things. But that experience alone was not enough to equip me to manage money well. In college, I racked up credit card bills, partially because I didn't have money for school expenses, but if I'm honest, it was because I bought things I didn't need. It took a long time for me to get back to get to a financially healthy place.

This is why I am so passionate about teaching our kids about money. And it's a topic I have talked a lot about here on the blog.

If we don't teach your kids how to manage money, somebody else will.

We don't have to have a perfect financial record or have reached our financial goals to talk to our children about this topic.

You can give your kids what they need to win with money at any age when you:

Decide what you believe about money.
Start the conversation about money with the kids when they are young.

My conversation with Art Rainer on The Family Culture Project podcast reminded me of just how much fun learning about money can be. He created a series of chapter books that teach kids ages 6-9 basic financial principles.

These books follow Jake, Sophia, and Brody on adventures that teach them about the biblical financial principles of give, save, spend.

Stories, especially fun and entertaining ones, are incredible tools to teach kids life lessons.

Listen to my interview with Art Rainer on The Family Culture Project podcast here >> Art Rainer and The Best Time to Teach Your Kids About Money

Be sure to subscribe to the show in iTunes or your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode.

Kimberly Amici 5/19/16 Kimberly Amici 5/19/16

Giving Your Child A Cell Phone

My 12-year-old daughter got her first smart phone a few weeks ago. It was a big deal around here because she’s been asking for one for years. When considering whether or not to give our daughter a cell phone my husband and I considered 3 things.

My 12-year-old daughter got her first smart phone a few weeks ago. It was a big deal around here because she’s been asking for one for years.

In our neighborhood, most kids get a phone in third grade, that’s because it’s the year when they are let out after school without parents and caregivers present. We don’t have busses, so many children either walk home or meet their grown-ups at a designated pick up location.

It makes sense for parents to provide this added measure of safety for their kids. However I just couldn’t get on board with my 8-year-old walking around with what I was sure would amount to an expensive toy that allowed them to make unlimited phones calls, participate in group chats, and access the internet.

When considering whether or not to give our daughter a cell phone my husband and I considered 3 things.

Need

I asked my daughter why she wanted a phone. Her answer:

To change her pick-up location.
To ask for a last minute play date.
In case of an emergency

I wasn’t convinced there was a real need knowing there are many ways for our daughter to contact us after school if she needed to because:

The library is conveniently located across the street from school and allows children to call their parents.
My daughter has an iPod. With a Wi-Fi connection, either at their school or the library, she can easily text me.
95% of her friends have phones who are more then willing to let her make a call.

Money

Even though our budget allowed for this additional expense, I really didn’t want to spend more money for another phone or data plan. After hearing from other parents about lost phones and cracked screens, I wasn’t willing to trust my elementary aged child to take care of something so fragile.

Values

Most importantly, giving our child a $500 phone, with no strings attached, did not line up with our financial family mission statement or our core values. My husband and I have noticed that often, the things you don’t earn, sacrifice, or save for are taken for granted. With children, it can lead to sense of entitlement, which we were trying to avoid.

So we said NO to a phone.

Earlier this year, three-quarters of the way through 7th grade, my daughter started lobbying for a phone again. My old reasons for saying no were still valid but I realized I had become proud of the fact that I was the last parent to “give in”. I recognized my stance was no longer about our family’s values and budget but about my pride. So I reconsidered.

After a bit of discussion, my husband and I came up with a plan.

Our daughter could have a phone but she would need to:

Pay for it. Luckily, the cost of the phone is spread out over a 1-year period in the monthly bill.
Pay for the data. This is actually a small cost because it is an add-on to an existing account.
Give us three months of payments up front. Much like a security deposit, it ensures that if she is unable to pay it one month, it will not go unpaid.
If she missed more than two monthly payments she would have give the phone back.

Giving our daughter a phone did not line up with our financial family mission statement or our core values. Allowing her to have a phone under these specific conditions did.

After thinking about it my girl decided she was willing to use her savings to get started and then find ways to generate a consistent income (babysitting and additional chores) to keep the phone. I was thrilled she agreed because it will allow her to practice stewardship and financial responsibility while she is young.

The reasons and circumstances for allowing a child to have a phone will vary for each family. Parents might:

Consider it a household expense and give it no strings attached.
Give them a phone but limit calls to family only.
Gift them a phone (birthday, Christmas, etc.) and have them pay the cellular and data charges.
Split the bill each month.
Require chores in exchange for a phone plus cover monthly charges.

When you measure your choice against your values and financial goals you can’t go wrong.