You Alone Can Create a Strong Family Culture
Back in April, I did a survey. Many of you said that one of the biggest obstacles in imagining, planning, and building your family culture was not wanting to do this work on your own.
There may be different reasons that you find yourself alone in this process. You may be a single parent or have a spouse that works long hours. Maybe your spouse isn't on board with personal growth or intentional living.
Whatever the reason, I want you to know that you can do this! You can take small steps that will help your family live with purpose.
When my kids were young, I had a lot of ideas about what I wanted family life to look like. I envisioned family nights, memorizing scripture together, and special Saturday morning breakfasts cooked by someone other than me. I'd run these ideas past my husband, and even though he would think they were great, he wasn't very helpful in making them a reality.
After a while, I started to feel sorry for myself. I became frustrated and angry; eventually, that anger and frustration just led to bitterness.
I was so busy insisting that I shouldn't have to initiate these family rituals and routines that many of my ideas never came to life.
I would complain to my friends about all the things our family wasn't doing because my husband wasn't on board. I maintained that I should have to "drive the bus." They all agreed that it sucked. Until one friend finally said to me, "So what, if it's so important to you, why don't you just make it happen?"
I was annoyed at her comment, but she was right.
By making excuses, all I was doing was losing time. My kids were getting older by the minute, and I was lamenting over the family I wish I had.
That all changed when I understood the power I had to implement the changes I wanted to see.
When you get to the point where you believe the things you do matter, whether small or large, you'll begin to take action. And that action will create forward motion in your family.
The actions that you take within your family will either have a positive or negative impact. No action is neutral when it comes to culture building.
Here are a few steps you can take to create a strong family culture on your own.
Recognize what is already in place. What rituals and daily routines do you have that are working for you right now? Celebrate it and do more of it. You are doing better than you think!
Brainstorm a list of things that are important to you — for example, self-sufficiency, personal faith, respect, creativity, curiosity, healthy boundaries.
Choose one or two from the list and answer the question, "What is one small step that I can do over and over again to get me moving in that direction? Decide not just on the action but also the details of it. Every day, once a week? In the morning, at bedtime?
Partner with someone.
Find a friend to hold you accountable. Forward this post to a friend and say, "Hey, let's make some changes together."
Create a circle of friends that you can meet with regularly. My friends and I read Life-Giving Home by Sally Clarkson together. We got together once a month to talk about how we were implementing the ideas in the books. Group accountability can lead to incredible friendships.
Hire a Coach. As a family coach, I work with people to help them figure out what really matters to them and what that looks like in the everyday. I help them overcome the obstacles that prevent them from living connected and with purpose. Coaches don't give you advice but rather cheer you on and hold you accountable for the steps you're taking to achieve your goals.
You may not see the fruit of the small steps you take right away, but over time you will. We may be tempted to give up. But don't do it.
Ask yourself, "Who can I partner with this journey?" Then write that text. Send that email or make the call you need to get the support you need to start building your family's culture on purpose.
You are wondering if family coaching is for you?
Let's hop on a call to see if you're ready to take the next steps.
Prefer listening to reading?
Check out this episode ot The Family Culture Project podcast >> Ep. 65 You Alone Can Create a Strong Family Culture
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