How to Equip Your Kids with What You Want Them to Know
Driving culture is primarily a teaching function. If you don't know what you are teaching, you won't do it well. That's why taking the time to map out what you value and believe is so crucial. It creates a curriculum for the way you will do life.
Our family is one of the busiest seasons of our life together. It's all good stuff, things we have intentionally chosen to do; however, If we are not careful, we could default to survival mode, and I miss opportunities to invest in our children.
Our oldest daughter is 2 years away from graduating high school, and I find myself wondering if we have taught her what she needs to know before she goes off on her own. Our overall culture is stronger but can't help but ask myself have I taken the time to teach her the finer points of:
Friendship
Dating relationships
Finances
Setting and achieving a goal
My conversation with Steve Graves, on The Family Culture Project podcast, has inspired me not just to hope that I will have an opportunity to talk with my daughter about the important things I listed but to actually take the time to do it.
Steve decided he wanted to make a long-term investment into his relationship with his son. So he began taking him to their local bagel shop to discuss life over breakfast. And over the following three years, they talked about each of the "deposits" that you will find in his book 41 Deposits: Crucial Conversations for Fathers and Sons.
I learned that to equip your kids with what you want them to know you can:
Decide upfront what you want your child or children to learn. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything that comes to mind. Then prioritize those things that are most important in this season.
Schedule a regular time to talk with them about these topics or issues. Don't wait for teachable moments to pop up. They may never happen. Pick a regular day and time that you can spend with your child and put it in your calendar. Pick a place outside your house to meet. The park, playground, or favorite restaurant.
Making a list of things to talk about ahead of time will give you direction. I know when I have a plan, I get excited about what I am doing. The more decisions I make ahead of time, the easier it is for me to transform my good intentions a reality.
Many times kids keep the things they struggle with to themselves, so we may not know when they need our encouragement and wisdom until it's too late. When creating your list, anticipate what they need in their current and upcoming season. This was they can and stay ahead of the drama, or dilemma they may face.
Your kid doesn't have to be a teenager for this to be worth doing.
They need your words of wisdom in the kindergarten, second grade, middle school, and beyond. Try to remember back to when we were your child's age and think about you would tell your younger self.
This doesn't have to be complicated.
You don't have to be a pastor or author to have something important to teach your children. Nor does it have to be well crafted. It can be as simple as when you share your thoughts and feelings with a friend over coffee.
Do what works for you in the season your in. If it's too hard, you won't do it. You can brainstorm your own ideas, or you can grab resources like the one our guest created and use it as a guide or what Steve life to call a "cheat sheet."
We've created a worksheet that will help you list your very own deposits, the things you want your kids to learn.
The FREE download will also include a link to Steve's book plus other resources that takes the guesswork out of what to talk about with your kids at various ages.
Listen to my interview with Steve Graves on The Family Culture Project podcast here >> Steve Graves and How to Equip Your Kids with What You Want Them to Know.
Be sure to subscribe to the show in iTunes or your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode.
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