How to Help Your Kids Set Goals

I don't know about you, but I am thrilled to say goodbye to 2020 and welcome 2021. 

If you listened to my recent podcasts, you know that there is a difference between setting goals (which many of us do this time of year) and creating habits and routines. 

Both will help your family get you from where you are to where you want to be.

Goals aren't just for kids; they are for grownups too! We can teach our kids how to set goals to cultivate the life, education, and growth they want. As we teach our kids to set and follow through on a plan, we give them a skill they'll need to help them succeed.

Whether your child's goal is to read more books, work out and exercise more, or grow academically, it's necessary to assess where you are at, determine where you want to go, and create simple steps that can take you there.

(We did this activity as a family, and it was so fun!)

Here's how to help your kids set goals.

1. Assess where you are right now.

   It's vital to determine where you are right now to figure out where you want to be. 

   Ask your child how they feel about their life in each of these categories. Have them rate them on a scale of 1 to 10.

   Friendships

   Family Relationships,

   Spiritual and personal growth

   Play,

   Money,

   Fitness

   School Work

   1 means they are not satisfied and want to see radical change, and 10 indicates they are happy and wouldn't change a thing. They can write on a notepad or use this assessment sheet. 

2. Once complete, ask them to write a few sentences about why they feel this way. Even if your kids are young, they will have something to say. Kids are great at being honest and telling you like it is. 

3. Share what you wrote. If doing this exercise as a family, you can take turns sharing each category or going one by one and sharing all the categories.

   (I go in-depth about the assessment process HERE.)

4. Now, set the assessments aside and plan another time to follow up. 

5. When you are ready to meet again, grab the assessment sheet, and have each person answer the question, "What would a 10 looks like in this category?" There are no wrong answers. Encourage your child to write down whatever comes to mind. 

6. Share these answers. 

   While talking about it, choose one action in each category to get you close to a 10 rating. Pick only one because if you focus too many things, thing-you're less likely to follow through, and it can be overwhelming.

7. Decide when and how you do your simple step. Based on your answers determine, When will I do these things? 

   Is it daily? 

   Is it weekly? 

   Monthly? 

   What specific days and times will you do this? 

   This process is similar to setting non-negotiables, which I talked about in THIS podcast episode. 

8. Write down the steps. You can put them on the calendar or create a spreadsheet to help your kids track their progress. Visual reminders help us understand when and how often we should do something to meet a goal. This step allows your kids to make and keep appointments with themselves, just like they would a friend.

9. Follow through. As parents, we can come alongside our kids and be their coach. We help them to be consistent by reminding them and checking in to see how they're doing.

The key to leaving behind good intentions and accomplishing what matters to you is to designate a time each day to do them, even if it is not the same each day.

Consistency is the key. However, we can teach our kids not to get discouraged if they don't execute their steps perfectly. It's not about doing it "right"; it's about cultivating persistence and intention. (Great character traits to have.)

The ability to create and follow through on a plan will set your kids up for success in the future! Remember this. It's the WHY that will propel you forward if this process takes a little time to master. 

Top Posts and Podcasts of 2018

I love year end reflections and recaps, and today I’m sharing ones particular to my blog and the podcast.
The 5 most popular posts on family culture this year determined by pure numbers:

• Why Family Culture Matters and How You Can Start Cultivating Yours

• The Benefits of a Clearly Defined Culture

• What Are You Passionate About?

• Why You Should Assess Where Your Family Culture is Now

• What are Family Values and Why are The Important?

Others on the "Most Popular" list that make me smile and shake my head:

• Jokes About Money for Kids

• Scripture Memory and Prayer Cards for Kids

• 31 Days of Teaching Kids About Prayer

• Worship Songs that Prepare my Heart for Prayer

• Money Puzzles Crosswords and Word-Search for Kids

I’m always surprised to see what makes the list, and what doesn’t but I am sharing them anyway. I hope you enjoy perusing these Top 10 

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Top 5 Podcast Episodes from 2018

• Episode 26 Allie Casazza and How Simplicity Makes Room For a Strong Family Culture There are days when I feel like more of a manager than a mom. I spend a lot of my time coordinating schedules and putting away the stuff we have accumulated in our home. Yes, I can be grateful for the all that we have been giving to take care of but it’s all too easy for those things suck up the time, resources, and energy that are vital to intentionally build culture in my home. 

• Episode 31 Rorke Denver and What a Navy SEAL Can Teach us About Family Culture A strong intentionally created culture is a game changer in organizations, ministry, and home. It can determine whether you fail or succeed, achieve your goals or miss the mark. In the military it’s the difference between life and death. If you are not convinced that culture matters, this episode with persuade you otherwise. 

  Episode 01 What is Culture and What it Has to Do With Families This podcast is for families at every age that just want a purposeful way to instill their values and beliefs into their family

• Episode 16 How a Family Retreat Will Benefit Your Family Many organizations hold yearly employee performance reviews. These evaluations reinforce what their managers expect in the workplace but also provide employers with information to use when making decisions, such as promotions, pay raises, and layoffs. We used the same format with our children and incorporated it into our yearly retreat. to answer questions like, “Is there something our kids need from us that we are not providing? When I am not around, are my kids treating each other well? Does their behavior reflect our family’s mission or values?

• Episode 25 Becky Kiser and The Secret to Making Your Holidays More Meaningful The way we celebrate the holidays shapes our family culture. The traditions and customs around Birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, and yes even Valentine’s Day creates experiences in our home that are remembered by our children years after they leave our home. So if you are looking to approach the holidays with peace and purpose rather than frenzy and overwhelm you’ll want to listen to this week’s episode. 

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We are passionate building strong culture and this one simple thing will enable other families to find us.

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My One Word in the New Year 2017

2016 was a good year for me. I am slow in saying that because so much of what has happened in the world at large has been gut wrenching. I admit I don’t watch the news a lot for that very reason. My heart breaks over so many things that divide us. I may not be on the front lines of change but I’ve committed to love the people in my every day and teach my kids what it means to let go of pride and cultivate compassion for the sake of unity.

This past year has included huge personal growth for me. Through intention, I established a habit of Sabbath keeping, finished personal projects, and set boundaries on my time. I also have cultivated relationships I longed to have, completed a home renovation, and embraced the description of work at home mom.

Circles of Faith, the ministry I co-founded with Elise Daly Parker, hosted it’s first all day retreat and transformed from a community blog to a podcast. It was very exciting but there was a lot of letting go and pushing forward that took place.

These successes sound great but I wrestled with doubts and insecurities along the way. I fought for every inch of ground I took.

As I approach 2017, I am ready to be refreshed. As I prayed about the things I would like to be different this year the word RENEW came to me. I immediately thought of the scripture in Romans 12:2.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

My One Word for the New Year is a verb, RENEW.

·      RENEW my faith. I will get back to basics and put God’s Word in my heart through scripture meditation and memorization.

·      RENEW my marriage. I will shed those comfortable habits that prevent intimacy.

·      RENEW my purpose. Whether I write a blog post, tuck my kids into bed at night, drive carpool, host our small group, or produce a podcast, I will do it well and stay focused on my why.

·      RENEW my Sabbath practice. I will prepare for those days and fiercely guard the sacredness of them.

There are a few important projects I am working on this year. However, I want to see renewal in the areas mentioned above more than I want to achieve any one specific goal. I truly believe that if I let my One Word guide me it will help me achieve my goals. The One Word itself does not hold power but the small consistent practices I have associated with it do. 

I am excited for what the New Year holds.  

I am curious to know, do you have a One Word for the New Year or do make resolutions or set goals? I’d love to hear what about your hopes for 2017.